I just moved to Lagos.
Living in lagos, Living in Sangotedo, Ajah in Lagos means that I have to be up before 5:00am in order to hitch a ride with my colleague/boss- Folarin; and make it to work just in time to wear my makeup and grab a nice warm sardine toast for breakfast before 8:00am.
Ps: the apartment Ad said 20mins from Lekki Phase 1……….THEY LIED!!.
I hate it, I hate it all, I hate the sound of my alarm at 4:15am.
I hate that I have to rush through my early morning prayer.
I hate the feeling of soap and water against my skin at 4:35am.
I hate having to wake Mohammed - the-not-so-secure security man,who is easily one of the reasons I wake at 4:15. It takes Mohammed a minimum of 4 minutes to respond to my aggressive knocking and screaming then another 3 minutes to drag his lanky body out of bed, drag out his prayer mat, walk to the gate… remember that he left the key to the gate, light jog back to his room and then open the gate for me...
Then I literally run into Folarins car, he is such a delight, he is always so awake and so pleasant. Folarin would always say ‘Timi, good morning’ while I manage a ‘gumrnin Fola’ and then he would offer me an apple and tell me ‘don’t worry babe, you will be fine’. Fola is perfect, and happily married, so I am not allowed to day dream. Also, i only like him at 5am,maybe it’s the apple, maybe it’s the free ride,maybe it’s the niceities, he is my 5am breath of fresh air and between 5am and 8am I love him. But, I don’t find him attractive at noon, he looks a lot less delightful and at close of business, when he rolls up his sleeves and loosens his tie; he’s supposed to be more attractive then right?.....not Fola, he has a lingering stench of desperation and exhaustion and I don’t like that. So, Happy married Life Fola.
I hate the buses, their drivers and their emphatically confused ways of driving.
I hate the smell of the office cafeteria where Fola and I get the sardine sandwich, which is really just hot bread and sardine.
I hate the journey home either in a very unpleasant bus or in Oge’s car.
I hate the walk home from the junction in the dark praying in my mind to God that I don’t end up as a subject of one of those ‘Disclaimer BBM Broadcasts’ or worse on Linda Ikeji as raped/beaten/robbed or kidnapped.
I hate it all, it’s been 14days and I Hate Lagos.
My name is Timi (Timmy) and this is an excerpt of my current hate list.
Living in lagos, Living in Sangotedo, Ajah in Lagos means that I have to be up before 5:00am in order to hitch a ride with my colleague/boss- Folarin; and make it to work just in time to wear my makeup and grab a nice warm sardine toast for breakfast before 8:00am.
Ps: the apartment Ad said 20mins from Lekki Phase 1……….THEY LIED!!.
I hate it, I hate it all, I hate the sound of my alarm at 4:15am.
I hate that I have to rush through my early morning prayer.
I hate the feeling of soap and water against my skin at 4:35am.
I hate having to wake Mohammed - the-not-so-secure security man,who is easily one of the reasons I wake at 4:15. It takes Mohammed a minimum of 4 minutes to respond to my aggressive knocking and screaming then another 3 minutes to drag his lanky body out of bed, drag out his prayer mat, walk to the gate… remember that he left the key to the gate, light jog back to his room and then open the gate for me...
Then I literally run into Folarins car, he is such a delight, he is always so awake and so pleasant. Folarin would always say ‘Timi, good morning’ while I manage a ‘gumrnin Fola’ and then he would offer me an apple and tell me ‘don’t worry babe, you will be fine’. Fola is perfect, and happily married, so I am not allowed to day dream. Also, i only like him at 5am,maybe it’s the apple, maybe it’s the free ride,maybe it’s the niceities, he is my 5am breath of fresh air and between 5am and 8am I love him. But, I don’t find him attractive at noon, he looks a lot less delightful and at close of business, when he rolls up his sleeves and loosens his tie; he’s supposed to be more attractive then right?.....not Fola, he has a lingering stench of desperation and exhaustion and I don’t like that. So, Happy married Life Fola.
I hate the buses, their drivers and their emphatically confused ways of driving.
I hate the smell of the office cafeteria where Fola and I get the sardine sandwich, which is really just hot bread and sardine.
I hate the journey home either in a very unpleasant bus or in Oge’s car.
I hate the walk home from the junction in the dark praying in my mind to God that I don’t end up as a subject of one of those ‘Disclaimer BBM Broadcasts’ or worse on Linda Ikeji as raped/beaten/robbed or kidnapped.
I hate it all, it’s been 14days and I Hate Lagos.
My name is Timi (Timmy) and this is an excerpt of my current hate list.
I always say a silent prayer of thanksgiving that I'm Abuja based. I leave the house at 7.30 to get to work BEFORE 8!
ReplyDeleteToju, you really should intensify that prayer
DeleteLoool! @Toritseju lived in Abuja for less than a year and I can't imagine actively living in Lagos anymore. What I utterly hate about Lagos is the fact that everyone is always angry. The constantly angry bus conductors, the traders looking for buyers pulling and pushing at every turn. Ode to Lagos!
ReplyDeleteEven us that had cars, we cried for the first 2 months. The madness that is lagos, its only the grace of God that protects us.
ReplyDeleteSuperb writing and so so true! I wake at 5am every morning to my first alarm and the second alarm rings at 5:15am. And I'm still groggy! This Lagos life is the pits!!
ReplyDeleteLagos...a town I love and Hate #deepsigh 😤
ReplyDeleteThat alarm at 4:15 am tho... the absolute worst. I start to wonder what will happen if I don't show up at the office, why I should even have to work at all, in fact what is the meaning of life...
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this, i unconsiously said THANK YOU JESUS for d life in Abj..leave d house at 8:45am n resume at wrk at 9am. Cant deal in Lag
ReplyDeleteWe feel your pain. #lovehaterelationships
ReplyDeleteKai. I feel for Timi. What can be done to reduce the HATE?
ReplyDeleteI know there are some places on the surface of this earth that I can and can't live. Lagos is on the top of the list for the latter option. If you ask me, it works as a transit location (even though I'd rather do Abuja or PHC - all thanks to Lufthansa and Air France), and as a perfect hang out destination for me and my girls (dem Hard Rock, Sao Cafe, C n G and GatP kinda grooves). Other than that, Lagos life is not for the faint hearted like myself. *strollsaway*
ReplyDelete