Timmyz Tales - Confuscious the Cat

My Fairytale of living in a hotel and loving a ‘hunk’ was coming to an end and honestly it went by like a flash…… Tee (Naomi) had to go back to Abuja, which means I had to ‘reset to reality’ i.e. return to Sangotedo, return to my awkward relationship with Folarin and all the realities that came with that.

Relationship Status Update:

1.       Jide called me to apologise and further disgust me

2.       Folarin is still my ride to and from work, if need be… there has been no lunch date yet

3.       Fela and I are still crazy about each other.

The weekend before Tee was due to leave, Fela asked me to take him to my house, I asked why, he said I want to know where you live, so that the day you leave me, I would come knocking on that door. (I promise you my heart did a back flip. How sweet of him).

I gave him all the disclaimers: the Traffic, the No light, the No water; and he still insisted. He even said we should sleep there.

11pm Friday night, it was time for us to head to Sangotedo. Hopefully, the traffic would have freed up. We got an uber and headed home. Thankfully the gods of Power were excited and there was light through the night. On this night, I was swoon, the coitus-resistant girl in me went to sleep and the coitus-curious one came alive and indeed it was a couple hours of pure delight! That was the first time I loved my tiny cot in Sangotedo.

Fela and I, happy and satisfied (wink) on my mattress, which was spread on the floor maybe 4 feet from my Pile of shoes and a hop or two away from my ‘toilet’; (I say toilet cos it’s not really a bath room seeing as the shower is knack in the middle of the toilet i.e. if you took a shower, the entire floor and toilet seat would be wet). Far cry from Four Points, but in this moment on this day. It was blissful.

Tee left!!! Fela and I were waxing strong, and it became more convenient to spend some days of the week with him. My routine was Friday to Monday with Fela, and Tuesday to Friday morning at home.  

One Friday evening, Fela and I had planned to have drinks and stop by some new spot he discovered. I had closed early and was gearing up in the bathroom when Felas phone rang….. Three things hit me:

1.       I’d never ever heard Fela’s phone ring……EVER…

2.       Fela left the room to take the call

3.       The ringtone was ‘Take me away’ by Keysha Cole…. (If you listen to the first few seconds of this song, you will understand)

Now, Fela and I are not in a relationship right? We are friends who enjoy each others’ company and had sex that one time!!! How was I supposed to react? Should I ask who called? Should I act like I don’t know anything about it? What should I do?...... I am not about to ask ‘where is this going ?” cos I like the convenience of our uncertainty i.e. I can walk away when I want! But hey, may be we need to draw up some clear lines!

He came back, we both acted like that didn’t just happen, we went out and had a good time, came back and slept off. The next morning, I woke up earlier than he, put my shit together and went home. On my way home, I called Folarin and told him the tale of the mystery call. Folarin found the story suspiciously satisfying, He laughed really hard and said ‘is he your boyfriend? why are you hoarding what’s not your own ?……. Folarin and I had lunch again, for the 1^st time since after that awkward time, this time it was in his “brothers” house. 

My name is Timi (Timmy) and I'm confused

Small Circle, Big Circle, No Circle

Hi guys, this is Ejay…. Todays’ post is about circles i.e. Friendship Circles.

I spent more time at church this week than I normally would, and something I learnt, something that resonated with me is that “Apples will rot at their core, when they are stored next to other vegetables”….. this one really stuck because I could relate, you see, I buy a lot of apples and I store them with lettuce, cucumbers and other vegetables in the ‘vegetable section” of my fridge….. and in all honesty, when they go bad, my apples always rot at the core… I would have started eating them before I realise that they are bad…. Yuck right? lol

What’s the moral of the story ?

Growing up, we tend to build a network/Web of individuals linked or isolated, some of these people become friends, others are  just ‘people we know’ and others transition from ‘Friends’ to “people we know”. Now, each individual has a personality that is peculiar to them. Understanding this makes managing a large network of friends easy….

We've got the hang out friends i.e. strictly for good company, the ones that you go to church with, the ones that you call to gossip about boys, the ones that exist solely for IG pics and Lagos Glam events and we've got the ones we can call at 2am on a week night after not talking to them for three (3) years and they will listen to us rant and even offer a helping hand If need be….These people are this way for one of the following reasons;

1.       That’s just who they are, it’s not specific to you; or

2.       It’s actually particularly specific to you

I’m sorry I digressed.

What I was trying to say is, some people (especially the ones you least expect) are like vegetables to you (the apple). Some people unknowingly talk you down, they do not encourage your endeavors, they have never offered to support your business, they will never pay for lunch or even give you toll gate money (you know when you are driving and approaching the toll gate, you will still be the one scrambling for toll gate money)…. Some just don’t want you to succeed, because your success is a threat to them or they just don’t think you are good enough (because they are looking at you with SS1 eye). They judge your ability to succeed on your past or their perspective…. They are simply incapable of believing in you......
Again, these people are this way for one of the following reasons;

1.       That’s just who they are, it’s not specific to you; or

2.       It’s actually particularly specific to you

Only Rule: You do not need that negativity in your life, you need friends that can and will genuinely say to you: “I am not Jealous of you, I am not in competition with you, I will cry with you and I will rejoice with you, I am content with what I have and in who I am, your drive inspires me to be better….. “ .

You need friends that define a support system, friends that encourage you to be better, not the ones that are walking in your shadows/steps, living off the “idea of being your friend”… if you buy a, they wanna buy a too, just because you have it.

I am not asking you to evaluate your circle, I am asking you to ‘know’ your circle. Identify, Assess and Design…. Just know your circle….

Xoxo

Ejay

Timmyz Tales - Fela, Not Kuti

I have a friend ‘Tee’ (I know her as Toochi) but she calls her self Naomi now, she lives in Abuja, she does some work occasionally for the government and other times she is ‘an interior decorator’ Decorating the homes and rooms of wealthy politicians, who in turn decorate her account. (side eye)

Tee had something work-related to do in Lagos and was going to be in Four Points for 6 weeks, Knowing how my logistics troubles, she asked me to be her plus one for the 6 weeks, saying "'i'd hardly be there anyway"…of course I jumped on it.

Folarin and I had gone past the awkward phase, we just did not talk about that lunch and those messages, I was not going to let his inability to manage his emotions and tame his pride come between me and my convenience… that ride to and from work is very important to me. Btw, he is married and we will never get passed the Friend Zone.

Tee had come, and I was ready to live happy.... I strolled into Four Points that Friday evening; interesting experience I must say, I got stopped by at least three security personnel saying ‘Excuse me ma, please where are you going?’…. I always wanted to reply with sarcasm but do u blame them ? With the number of refined and packaged prostitutes walking gidi streets they have to ask. Tee had dropped her room key and a note for me, it said ‘please relax, eat and be happy, I won’t come in early’. I went up, dropped my stuff and literally passed out.

Saturday morning was heavenly!!!!!!! There was no noise from my neighbours who ‘bond over laundry’ on Saturday mornings, I didn’t have to worry if there will be water today or naah, breakfast was guaranteed and I didn’t wake up in a pool of my own sweat...  I went to the gym, took a nice warm shower and went to breakfast in the restaurant downstairs. I was in such a happy place, and to top it all I shared my breakfast table with the most adorable, warmest, funniest, sweetest man in the world. His name is Fela. Kai!!!! I couldn’t wait to gist Tee and Folarin.

How it happened:

I was sitting by the window enjoying my baked beans and sausages in what Folarin Calls my ‘I woke up like this- Face”. A noticeably hot man walked past ALL the empty tables, and came straight to me ‘Can we have breakfast together?’… I looked up (embarrassed and shy) and said ‘sure’. Then he sat

Him: “Do you like sausages’’

Me: “Good morning, please I have zero tolerance for small talk. Besides, Do you like sausages is the most ridiculous thing you could lead with’’

He chuckled, and apologized, stretched out his arm and said, ‘I’m Fela’ ,

Me: ‘I’m Timi’

Him: “honestly Timi, I am friend-hunting, I am in Lagos for work and have been for 2 months, I have 4 to go, I know no one in Lagos, and you are a pretty girl, can we hang out sometime”

Me; “Lol, that’s better, I am going up to my room now, here’s my room number, I am gonna be in there most of today. Call me’’

I was shocked at myself, so forward and so confident… that’s truly my attitude towards life but Lagos has been subduing me. I felt like I was a bit rude and shut-downy, but the sausage question kind of threw me off; as un-intended as it might have been.

Needless to say, Fela and I got really chatty and I ‘Loved’ him immediately, not in the Cinderella story kind of way. I loved him in a “what a refreshing experience” kind of way. Our conversations were seamless, effortless, so alive. We talked about a lot of things, but nothing too personal. We had dinner together that day and then it kind of became a thing.

I’d look forward to getting off work just to go have dinner with Fela, He became my go-to. We were on an exploratory trip together, going everywhere, figuring out places together, and it was so convenient. He was two floors up, a call away and always always always ready to hear me rant!!!

We discovered a pedicure place in lekki phase one. The best salad in Lagos, suya from the famous Abeyigi and of course the all known and all loved Glover court. We went to the beach, we had drinks, we laughed at each other, we started stealing kisses. Spending time with Fela made the Hate List invisible.

When I told Folarin about Fela, I am not sure how he felt, quite frankly I actively avoided a reaction.  He grilled me, what’s his surname? what school did he go to? What’s his blood type, what’s the color of his eyes (ok exaggerating a little). After the Q and A, he said, ‘I miss riding with you’. I am happy you are over Jide’ I hope Fela makes you happy and I was just like ‘yeeeeaaaaa’....

My name is Timi (timmy) I found something(one) I like.